Saint Nick Makes Possible Emergency Landing on Oregon Coast

 
 
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Saint Nick Makes Possible Emergency Landing on Oregon Coast

Published 12/24/2009

(Lincoln City, Oregon) – In a rare opportunity, Santa Claus was not only photographed on his Christmas run, but he was photographed with his sleigh and only one reindeer in a brief emergency landing Thursday.

Saint Nick’s sleigh and reindeer flight mechanics ran into some minor difficulties while zipping over the Pacific Ocean, causing him to make may or may not have been an emergency landing on a beach in Lincoln City, Oregon. Santa explained to reporters it was nothing major and it was merely a precaution, and that these glitches happen all the time on his gifting routes around the globe.

“We expect no delays in getting goodies to all the boys and girls,” Santa said. “This happens on every Christmas run, and we in fact plan for these little quirks in our flight systems.”

Santa spent about 30 minutes on the ground before taking to the air again with a hearty “Ho, ho, ho.”

Fifteen minutes of that time was spent answering the questions of a quickly growing mob of reporters.

Santa was asked about his propulsion system, and how he manages to circumnavigate the world in 48 hours, reaching just about every household on the planet – a question he has been prodded with over and over throughout the ages.

“Again, I can only tell you so much as your current understanding of science allows,” Santa said. “It’s a complex mixture of several disciplines of quantum physics, including the bending of time and space. It’s a bit like, well…it’s like I explained two hundred years ago to newspapers in Europe: it’s a lot like magic.”

Santa “fixed” his aircraft by apparently petting the lone reindeer and feeding him briefly, leading some to speculate the reindeer needed a break from all the flying and there were indeed no emergencies involved.

He would not comment why there was just one reindeer with him - creating more mysteries about the age-old holiday figurehead.

A physicist working for the United States Department of Defense told OregonTravelDaily that it’s long been theorized that Santa is likely from the future and has lived here for hundreds of years, utilizing technology way beyond our current comprehension of physics. It’s believed he occupies thousands of places on the planet at once, possibly by stepping into and out of other dimensions where the passage of time actually has no meaning.

The extremely baffling part has been what role the reindeer play in all this.

For many decades, some scientists theorized Santa was perhaps of alien or angelic origin, but subsequent DNA tests (taken from hair he left behind at children’s homes) have revealed he is completely human and of Norwegian descent.

Reporters also asked him about which celebrities were especially naughty or nice this year.

“I cannot comment on the naughty celebrities this year, except to say there have been too, too many,” Santa said. “And most of them were good boys and girls at one time.

“I can say those who were especially nice this year were Robert Fripp, the guitarist and leader from King Crimson. My reindeer really love his surrealistic, minimalist guitar style. They often go to sleep to his music, and sometimes I hear them humming King Crimson songs while training during the rest of the year. The other celebrities who are getting extra presents this year are Manic Street Preachers – the band from Wales, England. They were awfully nice by coming to American this year. God bless them for finally doing that after ten years.”

A spokesperson for the Lincoln City visitor center would not address the rumors that Santa has a regular vacation home in the Lincoln City, but did say he is a regular on the central coast during the rest of the year – especially the “second summer,” which happens in September.

“We are extremely pleased that someone as highly revered as Santa Claus likes our town so much,” the representative said. “But of course we would respect the privacy rights of any such public figure, and we cannot comment on whether or not he lives here part time, even if we knew that was the case. And we don’t know, in the first place. We do know we see him a lot here in September, playing on the beach during our sunniest month, and having dinner with Mrs. Claus at local restaurants.”

Santa’s arrival in Lincoln City did not mean he was here to drop presents - yet. He said he was only here to deal with his flight mechanisms, and had to run off to other countries to deliver presents.

“I will be back long after dark,” Santa said. “The boys and girls of Lincoln City will be fast asleep when I came back with their presents.
 
     

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